Ahh… Study effectiveness.
It really doesn’t take an expert to spot when a child is being ineffective when it comes to their studies or schoolwork.
You either get their results back (and it doesn’t turn out great). Or you catch them in the act with their less constructive habits – constantly distracted on their phones, leaving things too late or cramming the night before the deadline.
But you just need to keep pushing and reminding them to do otherwise, right?
If only it were that easy.
For most teenagers, the line between their parents’ encouragement and nagging tends to blur. That’s why it feels like the more you try to help, the more they fight back and resist.
That’s when it starts to feel frustrating. Because here you are, spending your own energy to help them improve your child’s marks and set up good skills for their future. Meanwhile, they’re binge-watching on YouTube, watching random influencers or chatting with friends on social media.
If you’ve ever wondered why you’re stuck in this constant ‘tug of war’ with your teenager, we share three common reasons and what you could do to break the cycle.
3 Reasons Your Teenager Resists
#1. Students are faced with new waves of challenges and distractions.
This isn’t an excuse, but it is a fact that we students and parents must contend with and reconcile in order to see positive behavioural change and academic improvement.
Today’s digital world already meshes the boundaries between schoolwork and social life. There’s just so much content your child is exposed to, where there’s every ‘influencer’ out there trying to convince your child that they don’t need a university degree to be successful.
With all this ‘noise’, it gets more difficult for parents to be heard and compete for the small window of attention your teenager has.
#2. Teenagers have neurological urges to resist parental advice.
It’s just the fact that they’re now teenagers — as we’ve learned from world-renowned neuroscientist and child brain development expert Dr Sarah McKay, who joined us a few months ago to give us her ‘7 and a half Tips on the Teenage Brain’. Influencing your child is not as simple as telling them to break things down into manageable tasks or to stop taking 40-minute toilet breaks again and again.
The more you push your child and pester them with studying, the more you run the risk of being a ‘tiger parent’ and putting unnecessary pressure on their shoulders.
#3. They don’t know HOW to accept constructive advice.
Taking constructive advice is not an innate skill we’re born with. We need to learn to listen and really understand feedback.
The prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that’s responsible for decision-making and reasoning — only develops years after the teenage phase. That’s why right now, your child does not know how to make the best decisions and do what we know is best for them.
Now is the most crucial time to help them learn this essential life skill because absorbing feedback and advice will help them in life after school.
What to Do When Teenagers Resist?
If you can’t push your teenager too hard but also can’t sit back and watch them wreck their chances at a good future, what else is left to do?
It’s a difficult position for parents. However, the main cause of the disconnection with teenagers is NOT because they’re beyond help. It’s because there’s ZERO plan to counter teenagers’ unproductive habits, and parents just make it up as they go.
Building effective study habits is simple if you have a process. You need a strategy which is easy to plan in three steps:
- Map your child’s learning.
What study skill domains and study skills do they need to achieve their ideal results? - Identify and address the gaps.
What study habits do they already have? What skills do they still need, and how can they learn these to reach their desired outcomes? - Optimise and leverage their existing study skills.
What can they do to improve their existing study skill set and boost their results to the highest possible mark?
At Kalibrate-Ed, we’ve done the heavy lifting and mapped out the study skill domains and necessary study habits for students who want to reach 100% or a 99 ATAR. If you want to find out where your child can improve and what study skills they need to implement, check out the study game plan here.
But if you already have a plan, tried everything and still can’t get through your teenager’s resistance, you need to check out our event later this November.
We’re hosting a practical session for Year 7-12 parents who want to support their struggling child in building effective study habits for higher marks. The ‘Effective Study Habits without Nagging’ will cover how to handle teenage objections and align what you want to see with what they want to do.
The event goes live on Wednesday 27th November from 7:30 to 8:30 PM on Zoom. Seats are limited, so better sign up early and get your free ticket now.
Check out the event details here: https://studyresources.com.au/effective-study-habits-without-nagging/
